New life goal. Get a bunch of dogs, teach them to bark in time, call the group Fleetwoof Mac.
valentines day for nerds
when u have period cramps but u haven’t actually started yet like ur uterus is legit just humming the fucken Jaws theme song
We don’t need a bigger boat. We fuckin’ need Jesus and a hysterectomy.
Isn’t it weird how we basically have an endless mental conversation with ourselves?
Ya she needs to shut up
She called me a bitch and I have no comeback.
My period while I have the flu: Okay, fine. But don’t forget I’m still here.
My period the second I recover from the flu: GUESS WHO BITCH
How did I get in here?!
Anyone else wander around when they talk on the phone or text or daydream and not know it?
Because I just realized I’ve been walking back and forth in my bathroom texting people for HALF AN HOUR. WHAT THE HELL.
What I say to friends vs significant other
Friends: Do you need a tutor? Because I majored in Pleasure and I can make sure you graduate magna cum loudly. 😉
Significant other: So…I have a cute dog.
Sanvers got me like
You ever had a moment where you were so happy about something it almost felt like you’ve been punched in the stomach?
….no? …just me? …’kay.
Question,
Does anyone else feel like they ship non-canon ships more than canon ones? Cause… I feel like I do. It’s like, I’m more passionate (excited?) for something to happen than it already happening. Like I cherish some deep, sentimental eye contact more than a full on kiss. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? IS THIS JUST ME? I LOVE BEING IN PAIN.
Story of my fucking life, dude.